--- Ramsey <ramsey@nym.alias.net> wrote:
> From Ramsey Tue Aug 24 20:12:10 1999
> X-Apparently-To: gsquared100@yahoo.com via
> mdd502.mail.yahoo.com
> Received: from anon.lcs.mit.edu (18.26.0.254)
>   by mta105.mail.yahoo.com with SMTP; 24 Aug 1999
> 20:12:27 -0700
> Date: 25 Aug 1999 03:12:10 -0000
> Message-ID:
> <19990825031210.14615.qmail@nym.alias.net>
> From: Ramsey <ramsey@nym.alias.net>
> To: gsquared100@yahoo.com
> Subject: Your Sweet Words in the Midst of Darkness
> Content-Length: 2870
> 
> Dearest Gail,
> 
> Thank you so much for your precious mail. I am in
> such a bad way. 
> I feel so depressed. My depression is a result of
> loss, but also 
> the result of hopelessness. I want you to know, as
> my new friend, 
> I have never been concerned about my own conviction.
> The problem 
> with such an event is that it would set her true
> killer free to 
> seek whom he may devour. The person who has "written
> me off" was 
> my final hope. Now, you come to me with an offer of
> hope. I thank 
> you for that. I gave a gift to my last friend. It
> was the gift of 
> my complete explanation of what happened to my
> child. She was 
> hasty to write me off - for in so doing, she has not
> only lost 
> me, she has lost all contact with our mysterious
> friend, as well 
> - a huge mistake in my estimations. He is the key,
> whether he 
> hurt my child or not. As these horrible experiences
> persist with 
> people in the media, like my last friend, I tend to
> believe that 
> maybe my mysterious friend is my help and my
> daughter's greatest 
> ally.
>  
> I feel so exhausted tonight. I have been crying as
> best I can. I 
> am surrounded most of the time so crying is not very
> possible for 
> me. I have yet to be able to really cry over this
> latest setback. 
> I made a terrible mistake giving that piece of
> information to the 
> person I gave it to. Today, she confirmed its
> worthlessness to 
> me. It is worthless to her; hence, I am worthless to
> her. She 
> thinks there is no way I could be who I say I am.
> Maybe you 
> should follow her suit. I do hope you do not chose
> to do that. I 
> have lost almost every contact here. It is useless
> to carry on.
> 
> I have always been a very strong person. I come from
> strong 
> stock. A Paugh never accepts defeat. I won an
> unbelievable battle 
> with cancer, with the assistance of my loved ones,
> friends, but 
> mostly through the power of my Lord and Savior,
> Jesus Christ. The 
> loss of my daughter and its aftermath, however, has
> brought me to 
> my knees. I feel, sometimes, there is no help when
> it comes to 
> this horrible situation in my life. The thing that
> the world 
> cannot comprehend is the fact that I have so much
> more grief and 
> agony to deal with than I have fear that I will be
> indicted. 
> Though that concept has my attorneys, family, and
> friends 
> rattled; it concerns me much less than this
> emptiness I feel that 
> will not be filled again in this life.
> 
> I thank you for your kind support. I am a loving
> person. My 
> friends can vouch for that. I have always come
> running when they 
> are sick or have suffered a loss. I hope we can
> share everything 
> between us. I know you were once against me. The
> only thing that 
> matters to me now is that you have come forth in
> loving support. 
> That wipes away the past as well as some of these
> tears that flow 
> for my baby. Gail, her killer will never be
> revealed. I made a 
> futile attempt and now I have failed myself and
> JonBenet.
> 
> Patricia    
> 
>